01/29/2013 In Real Life and Whatnot
Jan 29, 2013

We’ve Come So Far, But We’ve So Far To Go

I saw this article today and it struck me hard.

Gay Oregon Teen, Taken Off Life Support After Hanging Himself

I read about this young man and wondered how he must have been hurting to do this. I thought about how much he left behind, how much he’ll never do. Never fall in love, get married, have a family, laugh and cry with his friends, celebrate his triumphs, and pick himself up from his setbacks.  I think of how much I’d want to say to him, because when I read this, I immediately wondered what I can do to be sure my daughter never feels so despondent that suicide seems the only avenue left.

I want to cry with his family, because even though it is not my child, it is still a child and being a new parent makes me more sensitive to how much every child matters, how we need to watch over all the children, not just our own.  I want to find the kids who did this and do things I shouldn’t even thing about. Anyone who would drive someone to do this isn’t anyone I want around my child.

I worry that with time, my child could be one of those who doesn’t see how much her words hurt and what effect they can have. Will I be a good enough parent to teach her to be a kind, compassionate person, or will I fail and she’ll end up a bully, joining in when others tease the ‘different’ one.

And I’m sad we still read about this, far too often.  As we celebrate the success of gay marriage at the ballot, the president declaring we deserve equal rights, and the shifting public view towards tolerance, we forget in that instance how much we still need to do.  I have no answers, just a mountain of questions.  I don’t want to fail as a parent, not for my daughter, or for any of the other young people she’ll associate with.  This just reminds me how much harder I need to try, because failure is awful beyond words.


  1. marlew92 says:

    This is such a heart wrenching story Qtee, I’ve never suffered any kind of bullying about being gay. This is probably because I don’t have contact with the outside world. It makes me dislike what is out there even more.
    I always heard from old Sam how there is nothing crueler than kids, beginning to see how true that is. Thank you for sharing this, I will too :hug:

  2. GR says:

    It is events like this that make us ponder the value of a life. It is sad to contemplate that there are still people that are intolerant and are unconcerned about what others feel and think. While it is essential to make sure that our own children are not a part of the problem, we also have a responsibility to do all in our power to influence their friends and associates to also add to the beauty of the world with possitive attitudes and kindness to all. Thanks for reminding us of the importance we can and should have on those around us.

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