02/24/2014 In My Writing
Feb 24, 2014

Nineteen And Counting

Last week Mike and I celebrated 19 years together. I didn’t announce or post it before now, because we went away for a few days to celebrate. We rented a beach house – couldn’t beat the 60+ degree sunny weather for a ‘winter’ weekend at the beach – and all of us – Mike, me, ‘lil q and Emma (the dog) – had a weekend away.

I said 19 years together because now that we’re married, we’re not exactly sure how to talk about it. We’ve not been married five months yet, so do we tell people we’re newlyweds? I mean really? Newlyweds? Not sure that works. But on the other hand 19 years since our first dates isn’t quite the same as 19 years married. For the first two plus years we lived in different cities and spent a fortune taking the train between Philadelphia and Washington. Were we together, yes, were we married? Not so much.

I’m good saying we’ve been together 19 years, but I’d say if we were picking the point where we’d have gotten ‘married’ if they allowed it, I’d go with May of 1997. That’s when I quit my job and moved down to DC so we could be together. At that point we sold both our cars, bought a new one together, opened joint everything accounts, savings, checking, brokerage. We were as married as we could be at the time.

Since there are several dates we could use, we just say it’s been 19 years this month and leave it at that. Besides, you can’t beat February at the beach.



  1. I totally get it. My husband and I first got together in 1995, but had a long hiatus before we started dating again when I was back in college. Do we count from that original time. From when we got back together? From when I moved in? Or from when we actually got married (much delayed because of that whole it wasn’t legal thing)? Enjoy your milestone!

    PS – I still want a sequel for Purpose.

    • Ash -exactly. The funny thing is this was never an issue before we could get married. Not that most people who know us care – they know we’ve been together as long as they’ve known us so it’s all good. As for a sequel – uff – time is such a scarce commodity these days – I’m not sure when that will happen – Sorry πŸ™

  2. GR says:

    Does it really matter? You two are together, happy, and a family! That is what is most important. Whether to mark it from the day you started dating, moved in together or got married, it all is to be celebrated and enjoyed. Contradulations to you both.

    PS I have to agree with Ashavan — A sequel for Purpose would be nice!!

    • Nope – doesn’t matter a lick to us. And while it was a wonderful day, nothing really changed. The next day we got up, had breakfast, had a party for ‘lil q, went to bed just like always.

      As for Purpose – See above πŸ˜€

  3. ambermcphee says:

    πŸ™‚ Simply just wanted to give you a smile. You guys are awesome. I look up to you, and I hope that my hubs and I are as lucky.

  4. Nephylim says:

    Marriage is the public recognition of you relationship, your love. It changes everything and changes nothing. The essence of who you are and what you have together was there before and will be there after. If I were you, I’d say ‘this is my husband. He’s been my husband for almost twenty years but we we were only able to share that with you five months ago.’

  5. πŸ™‚ Many congrats Andy!! 30 years and counting this year for me. Whose business is it anyhoo, you’re still together, in love, and that’s all that matters!!

    P.S. Don’t listen to all these whingers going on about Purpose πŸ˜‰ They’ll discover soon enough what’s been taking up your time hehe…can’t wait!! <3

    • 30 years is a wonderful number – I’d say it seems far away for us, but as fast as the years seem to go, I guess it’ll be here soon enough so I won’t rush it. πŸ™‚ And now that it’s all legal – anyone can think what they want – we know what’s what. πŸ™‚

      As for the other – yes indeed – heady times (and perhaps a bit scary as well). Soon. πŸ™‚

      Thanks Bev.

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