Holiday Blog Event: Wade Kelly – My Joy
Hello all you wonderful people who have stopped by Andrew Gordon’s wonderful blog to read all about how Christmas has effected each of us in a special and unique way. I am going to talk briefly about my son. On this day, December 13, four years ago I met the sweetest, most adorable thirteen year old boy in the world and fell in love.
People I meet now often ask me to tell them how I came to the decision of adoption because it seems like such a wonderful thing to do for him and how giving I am etc… And I respond by saying it was a completely selfish thing I did, because I was only thinking about how I would DIE if he was not in my life. My love for this child was so intense I could not imagine another minute without him in my life or in our family. And I still fee like that.
So, go back four years. I got involved with an orphan “hosting” program through an acquaintance who suggested I look into it—hosting an orphan—because his family was going to do it with the idea of adoption. My husband agreed to the hosting, but not the thought of adoption. He was done having children at that point. (We have two daughters.) I said, “Fine. I understand,” but inside I was disappointed. From the moment my eyes connected with Nick’s, I was done for. My heart melted. And when we took him home, he fit into the family as if he belonged there. I had never had another child in my home, especially one who didn’t speak more than a couple words of English, whom I didn’t know. Friends’ children have spent the night, but never more than a day or two. But not one stranger has stayed/lived in my house for 5 WEEKS! That was crazy to consider, yet that was exactly what we had agreed to by taking this child in. It was all overseen by an organization so that all the guidelines between USA and Ukraine were upheld and it was all fine, things went well, except that I felt in love with him and could not bear the thought of him going home.
Personally, I credit many things to God and this was one of them. Nick came into our home and I loved him. I loved his soft smile and his playful antics and the way he fell asleep on the couch and spoke Russian in his sleep. He was kind, loving, and starved for affection. I couldn’t send him back, but I had to. It IS the law! And during those 5 weeks, my husband started to see things differently. We watched The Waltons for the very first time and the episode was about taking in an orphan. (I had nothing to do with that.) Then we watched an American Girl Doll movie my daughter got for Christmas—it was about an orphan. And several more times situations arose that had to do with adoption, orphans, or “seizing an opportunity before it passed.” My husband got the hint and it had nothing to do with me. I was silent.
This was probably the first time in my life when I kept my feelings to myself. He knew how I felt. He saw it in my face. No, this situation had to be real for him too. I could not adopt alone. My husband had to want it for himself as well as our family and I could not make him want it. He had to find out on his own. So I prayed. REAL HARD. I am a person that believes in God and I believe He brought Nick to us.
January 14, 2010 was the worst day of my life. I had to put this sweet 13 yr old on a plane without knowing if I’d ever see him again. I had never seen a boy that age cry so hard. He clung to me so tightly, but I couldn’t go through the gate and he was alone again.
Then two days later my husband said, “I think we need to adopt that boy.” This time my tears were from JOY. While Nick was here I use to call him “My Joy”. And is his my joy. I love him more than anything and it doesn’t matter if I bore him or not, the same “mother bear” instincts are there and I would die trying to protect him from anything.
Now, he has been in our family for just over 3 years. I love him more and more each day. He is 17 and ironically just like me. (DNA or not, he is just like me.) And we are developing a beautiful relationship. He has a new girlfriend and this has opened up even more topics for discussion. I feel afraid, yet proud. He is becoming such a wonderful young man, ready to take on the world, and ready to shower his romantic tendencies on a pretty little girl he met in school. However, he told me today that I will always be his first and best girl and that made me cry again.
Christmas time for me will always be filled with memories of how I met my son.
Thanks Andy for having me by.
About The Author:
Hi. I’m Wade.
I live and write in conservative, small-town America. Here, it’s not always easy to live free and open in one’s beliefs. Nevertheless, I love to write from my own real-life observations and experiences by expressing them through fictional characters and settings. Basically, I write what I feel, I write what I know, and I write what I think others need to hear. And if you think a character sounds like someone you know, think again… All my characters are ME.
Unlike some authors, I have no huge background in writing. I’m not good at punctuation and spelling, and my thoughts often surpass my ability as an author to express them. However, I can’t NOT write. It’s who I am. I hope you are touched by my stories.
When not writing,I am THINKING about writing and probably scribbling notes on old napkins in the car while I play “taxi-driver” for my three kids. I love snakes, and I have a turtle in my bathtub!